Allow me to introduce myself

My name is Genevieve. I have 8 siblings and 3(+1 on the way) children. K, I, A. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 7. She is now 12 and owns her disease. My Isabelle is a super smart, sweet 7 year old that can make even the most serious laugh. And my Arianna, my sweet baby forever. She had the biggest Wyse I’ve ever seen and smiled her first day on this planet and it wasn’t gas. She also share a laugh with Will and I. She passed away at three months old. I miss her every second. I’ve been through all life could throw at one person. And it has shaped who I am today. I am still going through things and I hope this blog helps me (and hopefully others) suffering with depression and grief among other things as I am. 

“How many children do you have” : The Dreaded Question of Any Parent Who Has Lost a Child

Never before in my life would I have thought that there could be a question so common yet so very painful to be asked. “How many children do you have?”. Every time I hear that my heart sinks and I get a pain in the depth of my stomach. “Well, I have three children. But, well…ummm”…I hate what comes next. What comes next is the other person’s guilt. The instant sad facial expression, the guilt of bringing up such a tragic and sensitive subject. I always feel bad -for- the person. People have said that’s silly of me, but how can I not feel terrible for them? They had no idea! The question itself is inoccent. The answer,ore difficult then one could imagine. There’s a part of me that wants to run and hide when ever I’m asked that, and then sometimes I want to lie and say three and then stop right there. For once I wish I could say three children and tell them how beautiful they all are and how great they are doing! And then again, I often wonder if people think I say it to get sympathy. The fact is, I have thought about this over and over. And bottom line, when I’m asked how many children I have,  there will NEVER be a time that I don’t include Arianna in that answer because she IS my child and she deserves to be recognized. She existed. Arianna was here. 

And in the end, I believe that’s what it comes down to: Arianna was here. Arianna made me and her father laugh and smile . She loved us and we loved her with everything we had. Arianna is loved. And she will love on forever I’m our hearts until the very end of time. 

               💗Arianna Marie 💗                            November 19 2015- January 27 2016